Montaigne

On reading Montaigne the word unpretentious comes to mind. He readily admits he doesn’t hold all the answers. He conveys the message to his reader that this is my opinion take it for that, I like this vulnerability he offers. He’s just like everyone else trying to find his way through the written word; he offers his likes and dislikes and leaves it at that. My favorite line in Of Books “Knowledge and truth can lodge in us without judgment, and judgment also without them; indeed the recognition of ignorance is one of fairest and surest testimonies of judgment that I find.” This tells me he holds high regard for those willing to admit their ignorance and still searching for their answers. He seeks knowledge in an effort to improve himself rather than to impress others with his knowledge. I am indeed a fan of Montaigne

Mine

Mine

Whose is it? The words stung, but I really wasn’t surprised. To be honest, I had expected it. I was twenty-four and up until that point, I had lived a fairly shallow existence: going from one party to the next; drinking to the point of passing out and doing just about anything else I wanted. Why not? I worked two jobs, had an apartment, a car and I paid my own way. I was legally an adult and I had no one to answer to. Until now. Now I was going to have someone to answer to. I would be responsible for someone else. My shallow little existence had come to an end and I didn’t even know how much my life would change and how great this change would be for me.
As a child, I was painfully shy. During adolescence, I realized that alcohol was a great confidence builder. It made me the person I always wanted to be. I was confident, outgoing and always the life of the party. At least that was what I thought at the time. It was some years later while under this misapprehension, I met and fell in love with Travis, the father of my children. At first glance, I knew I was in trouble. He pulled up on his motorcycle, longhair flowing, and an even longer line of girls just waiting to be at his side. He was the epitome of a bad boy and I suffered from low self -esteem; we were a match made for dysfunction and heartbreak.
Travis and I had been set up by a “friend” I had met while painting little forest animals at United Design in Noble. He and her boyfriend had grown up together; they were partners in crime and she wanted to share the wealth. I had only moved to Noble about a month before and I had grown lonely and tired of staying home alone and staring at the dingy walls off my cramped low rent apartment while the rest of the world continued to revolve around me. So, she set us up on the premise that it would just be a casual get together. She had mentioned he was really nice looking so I took great pains to return the favor and look my best by replacing the layer of paint I had acquired at work with a fresh coat to my face that somewhat enhanced the places that needed a little help. Before leaving, I made the decision to change from the sensible shoes I had been wearing into a pair that may not have been comfortable but were more pleasing to the eye by enhancing my (then) toned and shapely calf muscles.
My friend lived in Norman with her boyfriend whom she happened to be ten years older than. Tina was older than all of us and she had moved in circles I had only been warned about. I knew I would be way out of my league but she had been nice to invite me and I had always been good at adapting to new situations. I arrived early, so that I would be able to get a look at him before we were introduced. As he walked in, I took one look at that tall frame, the dark skin and big brown eyes that could see right through an innocent young girl from small town nowhere, and my breath left my body taking with it any hope of ever surviving this encounter. He was HOT and mysterious in ways I knew would be the end of me. I was in trouble and there was no backing out. For better or worse this was going to happen.
Before heading out to the club, we decided to indulge in a few party favors. I was so overwhelmed by his appearance that I would have taken anything to ease the tight grip that my anxiety had taken over me. After a couple shots I felt the warmness take hold rendering me capable of conversation and most importantly flirtation. It was time to go. By the time we arrived I was feeling not the least bit insecure and ready for anything the night had to offer.
When we walked in the guys went to secure our table and buy the first round of drinks. I heard my song booming throughout the club’s speakers so Tina and I headed off to the dance floor. I tend to get a little over excited about my dancing ability after a few shots- I had had about six- so this was going to be my moment to shine. Having forgotten about the hasty change of shoes before leaving, I took off in a mad dash to secure my place on the dance floor and just as soon as my new sexy shoes hit the slick surface, I got a face full of it. It was not a graceful fall, it was an all out battle between me and the floor and I was losing; I had the bruises the next morning to prove it. But I recovered between beats and laughed about it the rest of the night. Travis never mentioned it and I told myself he probably never saw it because that helped my wounded pride. The rest of the night was great, we all had a fun time and ended it at Tina’s house. We were too drunk to drive home so Travis and I decided to share the couch. Nothing happened; we stayed up talking and made plans for the next night.
After that night, our relationship became a non-stop party and as long as there were no responsibilities and I didn’t take up for myself, we would last forever; it was the perfect situation for both of us. He would treat me like a best friend until I was drunk enough to not notice what an ass he was. I was only keeping up my end of the deal by getting so drunk I didn’t notice that he was hitting on some skeeze while sending her friends over to keep me occupied. Sometimes, what you think is perfection, is just what gets you through until perfection comes along.
After about a year of this, I had grown tired and the good times stopped being good. The bad times only got worse. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would start feeling the urge to move on. But sometimes, we are most comfortable with what is familiar and I had grown comfortable with and developed a fondness for his constant abuse of my pride and self esteem. To be honest, I probably didn’t have much of either before I met him. I couldn’t imagine living without him and I would not allow myself the privilege of thinking that I deserved better. It would have to be something big to make me look outside of my little box and realize life without him was possible.

I’m pregnant. It’s amazing the effect that two little words can have on someone. The same two little words that can bring happiness to some, can lead others to despair. A certain reaction to these words can also change the way you look at a person and how you feel about that person. This was the case of my feelings for Travis. His reaction was the something big I was searching for. Whose did he think it was? I had spent every waking hour for the past year adoring his every move and could never even fathom the thought much less try to be with anyone else. It was just his way of saying something to hurt me for allowing something like this to happen and causing him a moment of inconvenience. Our relationship had run its course and I had known it for a while but it wasn’t until I saw and heard his reaction, to my two little words, that it hit home. For him, they were the scariest words ever spoken. For me, it was the end of the party. Its not that I had an aversion to babies, I had always thought someday I would have some, when things were different, maybe when Travis and I were actual grownups. But it just wasn’t what I thought I needed at the time; I was having too much fun. I was so caught up in how this was going to change things for me and my party; I didn’t realize it was the beginning of something great. My party didn’t end. It just changed a little. I had a new party to go to and this one didn’t involve alcohol.
All alcoholic beverages must be left at the door before entering parenthood. I couldn’t drink; I had an actual person growing inside my body and I had to make my decisions based on that fact. Up until that point, I had not been very smart about my lifestyle and making healthy choices for my body, but I knew the importance of living healthy for the baby, and drinking was off limits. For the first time in a long time, I had to be Christi. I had to stand on my own two feet without relying on drink to give me courage. I had to consider someone other than myself; I had to grow up and become an adult and I had nine months to do it in. For once in my life, I had a reason, a purpose to do and be better.
I left Travis several times over the course of six years and each time he made a change and I took him back. He stopped drinking, got a job and tried to be a husband for a while. But sometimes you just can’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. Sometimes two people are just that, two people with different ideas of how they want to live. We had a total of three children together and we both cherish each one as much as the other. We eventually realized that although we had been through so much together, our lives were destined to be lived apart. Now we have a great working relationship instead of ourselves we focus on our children and this works. I had been asked a question once that no matter how hard I tried to overlook it, it remained inside my head forever haunting the way I saw him so I walked away.

He was born March 22, 1996; and was 8lb. 12oz. 22and ¼ inches long. He had ten little fingers, ten little toes and just as a reminder of whom he came from, big blue eyes and curly little ringlets of hair that stuck to his scalp. He was then and is now my very reason for life. To this day he looks at me as if I could do no wrong and I am thankful for it. He has shown me how strong and confident I can be. He has led me here, taking this class and being the best person I can be. I want to lead by example and show him the way, and guide him to make better decisions than I ever did. I named him Taylor Iralee Carruth, after my grandfather, because I was once asked, “Whose is it.” He is mine and I am proud to call him son.

Five 1st paragraphs

1. I have led what some might consider a dull life. The words in this essay will not inspire you or lead you to make some grand conclusion on the existence of man. I am small town America. I am a daughter, sister, a wife and mother. I have lived and learned; I have loved and been scorned. My story will never grace the pages of celebrity gossip. Other than under the obituaries, I would be shocked to see a portion of it in the Maysville Times. It is however mine and I claim it. I am not ashamed to say it, this is me and this is my story.

2. Whose is it? The words stung, but I really wasn’t surprised, to be honest I had expected it. I was twenty-four and up until that point, I had lived a fairly shallow existence. Going from one party to the next; drinking to the point of passing out and doing just about anything else I wanted. Why not? I worked two jobs, had an apartment, a car and I payed my own way. I was legally an adult and I had no one to answer to; until now. Now, I was going to have someone to answer to; I would be responsible for someone else. My shallow little existence had come to an end and I didn’t even know how much my life would change and how great this change would be for me.

3. My writing process is simple; I fly by the seat of my pants. I have a few quirky behaviors, like I am sure everyone else does, for the most part I just kind of wing it and hope it turns out. For me, writing is a work in progress; I have the desire to become a great writer but for now I am just putting in the time it takes to improve my writing skills. Having said this, its nights like these I question my decision of becoming an English major. I’m sure you all know the answer to this; corny as it sounds, whether we are here for the writing aspect or we want to inspire young minds to become avid readers it’s the love of great literature that keeps us coming back.

4. She came running across the parking lot, toothless smile beaming from ear to ear, holding what looked to be the spelling test we had been diligently studying for the past three days. I knew at an instant her hard work had payed off; she had received an A and most importantly the coveted gold star. Being the proud mother of a spelling genius, I placed the newly adorned test upon the refrigerator for all to see, and it was good. That was two years ago when Caroline was six; Then, it seemed so innocent to place that gold star on display. I truly believed I was correct in placing such importance on good grades for my children. I wanted to instill the value of hard work, that if you put enough effort into something it will pay off. It is my role as mother, which leads me to encourage them to do their best. So far, this has shown to be a very successful method; my children are all honor roll students. Having said this, it wasn’t the gold star I praised; it was the effort that went into receiving that star I am most proud of, the gold star was just frosting on the cake.

5. Its spring time flowers blooming, birds singing and its monster truck time. It’s that time of year when The Hot Rod Association comes to town, but more importantly it’s time to air their commercials. I can honestly say I have never been to a Monster Jam or witnessed the excitement booming from my T.V. screen in person; but I have always looked forward to that commanding voice telling me where I need to be on SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

On Running After One's Hat

I noticed in the essay On Running After One’s Hat the author, G. K. Chesterson, has several of the characteristics listed on the handout. Honesty, he shares his feeling of optimism for everyday occurrences. He feels it’s all about how you look at those little inconveniences and how you respond to them that may affect the quality of your life. His description of the man running after his own hat uses cheek and irony. There is a certain nostalgic feeling the reader may pick up on when he is describing London and where he grew up. The example of the little boy’s imagination leaves the reader with a sense of melancholy for their own childhood memories. Both of these examples are a part of the past, the local and the melancholy. I have always enjoy a story that may lead me to reflect on my own past and call upon memories I had forgotten.

Vocabulary Expansion

Battersea- is an area of London lying on the south bank of the River Thames.

Archipelago- a chain or group of islands.

Termerity- Foolhardy disregaurd of danger, recklessness

Plutarch - Greek biographer and Neo-Platonist/ He wrote Parallel Lives

Fillip- 1. A snap or light blow made by pressing a fingertip against the thumb and suddenly releasing it.
2. An embellishment that excites or stimulates: "Spritely tabasco onions, just a little crunch for the top, were an added fillip" Alison Arnett.
3. One that is trivial or of little importance

Undulating- 1. To cause to move in a smooth wavelike motion.
2. To give a wavelike appearance or form to.

Belie- 1. To picture falsely; misrepresent: "He spoke roughly in order to belie his air of gentility" James Joyce.
2. To show to be false: Their laughter belied their outward grief.
3. To be counter to; contradict: At first glance, life at the boarding school seemed to belie all the bad things I had heard about it.

1st paragraphs I liked

1. Meatless Days 459
2. Of a Monstrous Child 57
3. Such, Such Were the Joys 269
4. Walking 480
5. Alas, Poor Richard 604

Five opening lines I would like to write

1. I knew from the moment I saw those tiny little curls stuck to the side of his head that I discovered the truth of forever love.
2. When I was about thirteen, my grandmother told me a story about a woman whose beauty and grace changed the fate of a nation.
3. My pool, an open book and a few bottles of bud are essential products of my happiness.
4. Growing up with the sisters is like being invited to watch an exclusive group from a distance but, never really being invited to join.
5. My mama always said, I have a song in my heart.